2010. My husband and I were married for 9 years when we decided to take a road trip with our daughter, who was 2 at the time, up to the Sonoma wine country. We had the best time on that vacation, which was much needed for our small family. 

My husband was searching for a job in church ministry at the time. It was right after the fall of the housing market and recession. We lived in Arizona at the time, which was one of the hardest hit places in the nation. We needed respite, we needed time together as a family. We needed great memories together during a very disheartening time in our life. 

We drove up to Sonoma wine country through the endless landscape of vineyards and stayed in a little town called Santa Rosa. It's a beautiful town; quiet, welcoming and quaint. We visited wineries in the area, The Frances Ford Coppola estate which housed many pieces from the film The Godfather (my husband's absolute favorite film of all time) and Chateau Montelena, a vineyard that was a location of a film we loved. We found a hotel in Santa Rosa that was an renovated 1960's establishment, the owner kept that same mid century design and feel to the decor. The hotel had this stunning ambiance when you walked through the front doors. It was a swanky place that at one time housed vintage movie stars on holiday from the haunts of Southern California. 

When we settled in, we were warmly welcomed by some local families there, sharing with us the necessary places to dine and visit. We ate dinner at one of the recommended places, a delicious Italian restaurant with possibly the most unbelievable glass of red wine I've ever had. We sat out by the pool every night, eating appetizers and drinking tasty drinks. We listened to the local band as they played soft music. My daughter and I lounged out in our bikinis watching the birds fly overhead. It was like time stood still. Just for a moment. 

We walked around this picturesque town and discovered that it was where the cartoonist of the Peanuts characters, Charles Shultz, retired and lived his last days. I've always loved his drawings and the art deco feel to his work. All over Santa Rosa there are these artistic statue renderings of the Peanuts characters. There is a museum placed at the center of the town honoring his life work. 

We fell in love with this charming place at time when we needed a little hope. Our time there was perfect during a place of crossroads in our life, when we needed to take our mind off of what was going on in our life back home. It brought a small amount of whimsy to a trying time in our life. It came at a time when we needed to feel welcome somewhere. It gave our family a brief moment; a brief moment that everything was wonderful and perfect in our world. 

I'll never forget our time in Santa Rosa. When I think of a brief moment that brought our family wonderful memories during a time when we needed it, I think of this captivating place. I think of Santa Rosa.

I like to remember Santa Rosa when there are moments in my life that aren't going the way I think it should. I like to remember our time in Santa Rosa when I need a bit of respite from life. I like to remember Santa Rosa when I need a little hope. 

Thank you, Santa Rosa. 

Thank you for the memories.

"Stretch the circle WIDER."

Have you ever taken one of those personality tests? You know those ones that tell you what you already know about yourself?  And after you take that personality test you can slap that paper on the table in front of everyone you know and exclaim, 

"SEE?! I TOLD YOU SO." 

I took one of those personality tests about a year ago. 

It was called StrengthsFinder. 

It's an incredible personality test distributed by the scientists of the GALLUP poll & the Father of Strengths Psychology: Donald O. Clifton. This particular personality test has 34 themes that your personality can fit into. It basically gives you your top 5 personality themes that apply to you, your life, career and relationships around you. It helps you discover your natural talents and helps reveal to others around you who you are. ON PAPER. Which is awesome.

One of my top strengths is INCLUDER.

Here's what the Gallup website shares about the qualities of an INCLUDER:

"Stretch the circle wider." 

This is the philosophy around which you orient your life. You want to include people and make them feel part of the group. In direct contrast to those who are drawn only to exclusive groups, you actively avoid those groups that exclude others. You want to expand the group so that as many people as possible can benefit from its support. You hate the sight of someone on the outside looking in. You want to draw them in so that they can feel the warmth of the group. You are an instinctively accepting person. Regardless of race or sex or nationality or personality or faith, you cast few judgments. Judgments can hurt a person's feelings. Why do that if you don't have to? Your accepting nature does not necessarily rest on a belief that each of us is different and that one should respect these differences. Rather, it rests on your conviction that fundamentally we are all the same. 

We are all equally important. Thus, no one should be ignored. Each of us should be included. It is the least we all deserve.

When I read this I shouted to myself internally: "YES! That's what I'm talking about!"

In a way it was slightly comical to be told what I already know. But in a weird and relieving way it was refreshing to hear that it was true: how I thought, how I functioned, how I related to others. 

How I functioned with those around me. 

It's kind of a constant battle inside for me though. One part of me is hyper aware of everyone around me. I want to instantly include everyone I meet into my circle. I want to make them feel included. I want to bring them in. 

The other part of me knows my limits. I know that I can only be stretched so far, before I reach my breaking point. It's important to point out that some people I've "included" in my circle in the past have stretched me too thin- thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread as Tolkien so delicately puts it. They've worn me out, due to the fact I want them to feel so included and apart of my circle of influence. I've had to figure out who is in my circle of influence and who is in my inner INNER circle. Thankfully; maturity & people speaking wisdom into my life have helped me realized that I only have the bandwidth of about 3 solid friends for my inner INNER circle.

There's some drawbacks of being an INCLUDER.  When people meet me I get the look of (insert emoji HERE): 

"Are you for REAL?"  

I know there are many people out there who are INCLUDERS, but when I meet new people I sense this perception of: 

no one can be this FRIENDLY. 

no one could be this NICE.

I've come to terms and accepted the fact that being an includer could be an enigma to many.

But here's the deal:

I want to include you. It's for REAL. 

Can I include you?

Will you be in my circle of influence?

Have you taken the StrengthsFinder test?

What are your STRENGTHS?

When I was about 16 years old, I had this crazy idea. It was a crazy, insane and courageous idea. I was going to try out for the varsity basketball team at my small high school. Here's the best part of it all: I had never ONCE played on any recreational or school team in my life. The little experience I had under my belt was playing basketball with my dad & my brothers from the ripe age of 8, when I first started living in my adoptive home.

My dad instilled into my brothers & I our love for basketball at an early age. He would get us out on the backyard basketball court almost every night playing 2 on 2 basketball; my dad & I on one team, my brothers on the other. The most hilarious part of it all was that when my brothers defended me they had to ALWAYS have one hand behind their back (to give me an advantage because they were taller than me) and when I defended them, I could use any force necessary to "shut them down" as my dad would put it. This often included me slapping my brothers in the face, torso, legs; yelling right in their face, climbing on their backs when they tried to shoot the basketball. Good times. 

Both of my brothers went on to start on varsity basketball their freshman year in high school and played all four years. Each of my two brothers had a great three point shot, excellent court vision for plays and both were inspirational team players. 

I was always inspired by them and the teams they played on at school, and when I turned 16, I wanted what they had. So, that fall after my 16th birthday I tried out for the girls varsity team. Did I make it? No. I did make junior varsity though and had the time of my life during my junior year of high school.

One of the many reasons I probably ended up on junior varsity was the fact I was about five foot three and weighed 83 pounds. Because I was lean and scrawny, I got hit around on the basketball court like a rag doll. I earned the name "Gumby", because of my stature and the simple fact of every time I got knocked down, hit, pulled or pushed around:

I got right back up each time and continued to play. 

I had great defensive skills (learned early on playing basketball with my brothers) yet my offensive skills were seriously underdeveloped. I had an incredible sense of fear shooting the basketball, worried I would miss the shot or the ball would be stolen from me when I would shoot the ball (I was the second shortest on the team). One day, I started sharing this with my dad and he told me something I would never forget:

"Vi. Did you know? You can get an opportunity to score even if you don't personally have the basketball? It's with the screen (or pick as he would call it) you can get the shot, the foul shot. You can get the foul just by standing there, with your feet planted firm, hands over your chest. If you are in the right place at the right time, you set the screen for your teammate with the basketball, you can draw the foul when and if the defensive player runs into you. If she pushes you down or runs into you,  you get to shoot the free throw shot. You get the opportunity. "

This whole concept opened my eyes. I started working on my free throw shot like crazy. I started practicing the screen with the 2 on 2 basketball games I would play with my dad and my brothers. 

And guess what? It finally clicked. After a bit of effort, I got the hang of how the screen worked. I would stand with my feet firm on the ground and if I would get pushed down and get fouled; I would get back up for the opportunity to shoot the basketball. I would get back up for the opportunity I worked so hard to get. 

Do you ever feel like this in your life? Like you are practicing over and over again. Working like a mad person at what you love to do. Pushing yourself to the limit to get to where you want to go. And then you get pushed down. You get fouled.

Guess what? 

You can get right back up. 

Even when your feet are firmly placed on the ground, you can get knocked down.

Those times you are pushed down, pushed to your limit are difficult. Not easy. Not always nice. 

But you can get right back up every time for the opportunity to do what you love. To take that shot and start all over again. 

You can make the opportunity. You don't need anyone to give it to you. 

It's not easy. You WILL get knocked down in the process. 

What I've learned from this simple lesson is that when you get knocked down, sometimes that's the greatest opportunity to get back up and take that shot at what you've worked so hard at. Don't let it stop you from what you love to do. 

Don't give up when you are knocked down. 

Don't forget you can get back up.

Every time.

__________________________________

here's an visual example of getting fouled on the screen with Lebron James and Carlos Boozer: Carlos Boozer sets the screen for his teammate, LB fouls Carlos Boozer, albeit a flagrant foul, but a foul no less.

"This is a injustamacation!" ~an angry man somewhere in Georgia circa 2010

My husband worked at U-haul about 5 years ago for about a year. He was a customer service rep for scheduling trucks to rent for moving. Periodically he would receive calls from customers who would be very upset about their rental not being available for one reason or another. One particular phone call my husband received was from a very angry and irate man somewhere in Georgia. As my husband answered the call all he could hear at first was a woman screaming. Then he heard a man start to talk. He was incredibly upset that he couldn't get the words out right because his U-haul that he scheduled to use wasn't available to rent. Which is completely understandable. Did you know that on the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, moving is in the top thirty stressors in a persons life? 

The man from Georgia was trying to express to my husband how frustrated he was with the situation, but his words kept flowing out wrong. He finally stated to my husband, "this is a injustamaction!" and at that moment my husband had to mute the line (which he was taught in 
training, mind you) to keep the man from hearing any laughter on the other end of the phone call. 

Do you ever wish you could do just that? 

Mute injustices you hear in your life?

Mute injustices you see in your life?

I was chatting with a friend the other day about this particular subject and how we have this innate ability to see things that are "just ain't right" and wish and pray that we could have a bigger impact on social injustices than we we were having. Right then and there as we were chatting I began to wish I had these super human powers: indestructible gold bangles, a gold lasso that whips the forces of evil into submission, and of course a rad red, white and blue cape. Just like Wonder Woman. Fighting off the forces of evil encouraging the injustices in this world. 

It really got me thinking about what I could do with my life to have an impact outside of my circle of influence.

It got me thinking of some ways to really be purposeful and mindful of this in my life and gathered a few ideas:

share your thoughts with others.
Don't be afraid to share what you see as an injustice. Martin Luther King Jr said it perfectly,
“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” When we are silent, injustice stays in the darkness. When we voice the injustice and become apart of it of the change; it brings it into the light. Others may have the same passion as you. It brings people together for a common cause. Purposeful things can happen out of you sharing your thoughts about what matter, what you want to see change in this world. Change can happen. It starts with you. It starts with me.

choose something to be apart of. 
What gets you passionate enough to want to make a change in this world? Is it human trafficking? Is it girl against girl bullying/guy against guy bullying? Is it giving woman in foreign countries the opportunity to make money on their own and support their family just as Proverbs 31 empowers women to go and do? I truly believe that fighting injustice means getting angry about the things that matter, righteously. Think about the injustices that get you to the point of "wanting to overturn the tables"  What is it? Be apart of it. 

be purposeful in giving gifts.
I love giving gifts with a purpose. Think of it like this: buy once, give twice. You may have heard of these wonderful companies, TOM Shoes, founded by Blake Mycoskie to give a pair of shoes to someone in need from every shoe purchased through the company, adding up to 35,000 shoes a year to people in third world countries. Another great one is Warby Parker, an online eye wear company with three flagship stores in L.A, New York and Boston. With each pair of glasses purchased from Warby Parker, all only $95, the company totals the amount and donates to their non-profit partners. The company also uses the donations to train people in third world countries to give basic eye exams and resources to sell eye wear at affordable prices. There are thousands and thousands of more companies (I've listed some of my favorites below and the links) that offer the concept of "buy one give one" .  Find one that fits what your passion is. Embrace it and give freely.

do SOMETHING.
By this I mean do something with purpose. Go on a trip locally, regionally or globally to support an organization you see fighting injustice. Get involved with a non-profit. Heck, start your own non-profit. Raise money with a Kickstarter campaign for a cause you are passionate about. Don't stand on the sidelines waiting for someone else to start something. Don't wait for someone else to inspire you. Be the one who inspires.


What social injustice programs do you support?


What causes are you passionate about?

Here are a few of mine~
Kind Campaign kindcampaign.com (bringing awareness and healing of girl against girl bullying)
31 Bits 31bits.com (using fashion and design to empower women to rise against poverty)
A21 Campaign A21.com (fighting the injustice of human trafficking of women)
TheBraveCollection.com (handmade jewelry from Cambodia to empower women across the globe)
TheDaveThomasFoundation.com (finding forever families for children in foster care)