I was about 11 years old. My adoptive mom was in the front seat of our family car with relative chatting and I was in the back seat with my sister. I think we were singing Little Mermaid songs or something. We were parked in front of my moms parents house after a day out together. When this particular relative got out of the car, my mom turned around to us in the back seat with obvious disdain on her face. She said to me between gritted teeth, "Do not listen to a WORD she said. Adopted children are NOT messed up. You are exactly the way you are supposed to be. You are NOT a lost cause."
I don't even remember hearing the conversation between my mom and this particular relative, but I do remember my mom sharing with my dad what was conversed, and basically this woman stated to my mom (in front of me) that she felt like all foster/adopted children were 'messed up' and had serious problems.
I really don't know why I remember this almost 20 years later.
What I do know is that what my mom said is true. Even though people go through certain things, it doesn't make them 'messed up' or a lost cause.
It just adds to character and who you are.
You are not a lost cause.