[caution: deep thoughts ahead]

There are things in the timeline of your life, that aren't just a blip on the radar. Things that you can't just say, 'Oh, yeah, I went through that...' then move on. The kind of things I am talking about evade your thoughts 24-7 while going through them, sometimes even dealing with years later. 

The things I am talking about, don't just fade away like time, from memory. Hurtful, traumatic things, that just can't be washed from the slate of your life. Does it mean that you can't move on? Does it mean that you can't be whole?

For some of you who know me, my story, know the years I spent in foster care until I was 9. I was then wonderfully adopted by my parents, who gave me a life that I only dreamt about. I am eternally grateful. A few years ago, I decided to finally seek help, so to speak, on the things that I experienced as a child.

After dealing with it, I experienced so much freedom. The one thing I could really never get over until about a year ago, was the answer to the daunting question: 

Why?

Why do some people, many who are helpless, go through such things? I think even in my mind, thoughts of 'Why would a loving God let this happen?' yet all along I knew, it wasn't a loving God who let this happen in my life. 

We live in a fallen world.

Then, I stumbled upon a movie and book that would forever remain with me & my thoughts for the rest of my life: The Lovely Bones. After watching it, then reading the book, I was astonished. I (through much thought, observation and prayer) realized not only had I gone through what I did, but LIVED through it. Which, the title character did not. I LIVED to share with others, to inspire others, to give hope to others. I realized.......what happened, happened. 

It happened, which I could be ruled by it, or RULE IT, by using it to move on, be whole. I SURVIVED it, which means I am a SURVIVOR (go ahead, start humming Destiny's Child, I don't blame you...). Which very few people can actually say about themselves. It happened.

IT in a way, was supposed to. Even in my deep thoughts, I have thought, 'What if I could go back in time, change/stop what happened, would I be the same person today? Maybe a BETTER person?' 

Whatever happened, happened. And I am who I am, because of it. 

So fellow, blog reader, I want to tell you: whatever happened, happened in your life.

 And you are WONDERFUL and exactly the way you are, because of it.

It's no secret, I love being a mom. 

Here is this little tiny life, entrusted to you, to love, take care of, and cherish the rest of your life! There is no ceremony or licence to have a child...although for some people, I think it should be a requirement...

It's an incredible thing.

One thing I never realized is how many perks there are to this mommy thing! It's awesome. Here are just a few things, and believe me the list goes on and on and on......

1) Teaching your child a language.
Believe it or not, when you teach your child to talk, you are teaching her a language to speak, read and write! She is a blank slate, taking in everything you teach her and she is SO willing to learn! You are her teacher & mentor. Case in point: The other night I was giving Riley a bath, and she was splashing the water with her tiny little hands. Every time she would splash she would say "WATIE!" which translates to -water-. I say to her, "Riley, 'WATER' wa-t-ER.", trying to use proper enunciation. She looks right at me and splashes again "Watie!" Big grin. 
Oh well, let's try again tomorrow.

2)The Secret Mommy Society.
Alright. I KNEW this existed, but never actually got to be apart of it until I had Riley. Before you have a child you may hear this all the time from experienced mothers "It's different when you have a baby/child." or "You will understand someday when you have a baby/child." I know I did. A lot. It's because there is this 'unsaid' thing amongst mothers.
Then you have your little bambino. WOW. Eye opening. After you have a child, other mothers look at you differently. They give you 'THE LOOK', when you are holding your child. And it's NOT bad. These mothers treat you differently too. There is this mutual respect. I love it. I am so glad I am a card carrying member. Apply for your card today.

3) The Mom Bod.
Some moms may be upset about this one. Or depressed. Me, I am happy. It's incredible what your body has done! Delivering a child is not an easy thing. It's like marathon you train for & you complete it. And for some, like me, almost a 17 hour marathon. Sure your body changes. Sure you get the stretch marks. Sure you are going to jiggle in places that will never change, no matter the amount of exercise. But your body has done something only 1/2 of the living human race has done! Be proud of it.

4)  I am that mom, in the women's bathroom, potty training my little girl. in the stall next to you.....
I remember this time before we had Riley, I think we were at Disneyland, and this young mom was trying to get her little girl to go to the bathroom. It was so cute. It kind of went something like this: Mom- "Honey, can you please try?" Toddler-"No, Mommy." Mom-"Please?" Toddler-"No." I remember thinking that day, soon it will be my turn. Well, my words are a little different, and I actually heard an employee from the store we were at, laughing in the next stall, . Here is how it transpired: Me- "Ri Ri, can you go peepee??" Riley- "Noooooo." Me- "Ri Ri, if you go peepee you can have candy!" Riley- just a blank stare. 
Did I mention this is a perk of being a mommy?

5) Your husband becomes a dad.
Seeing an adorable, caring dad is one thing. When your own husband becomes that adorable, caring dad, its such an incredible, life changing experience. The day I had Riley, I looked over at Daniel, realizing we created this beautiful, sweet little baby girl together and fell in love with him ten-fold that day. Every time I see my husband coloring with her, teaching her numbers & colors, I fall EVEN more in love with him.
I heard it before, and now completely believe it: there is nothing hotter than your husband becoming a father.

Please share some of YOUR perks of being a parent or things you are looking forward to as a parent. I would love to hear.