"Everybody is different. Some writers can write reams of great books and then J. D. Salinger wrote just a few. Beethoven wrote nine symphonies. They were all phenomenal. Mozart wrote some 40 symphonies, and they were all phenomenal. That doesn't mean Beethoven was a lesser writer, it’s just some guys are capable of more productivity, some guys take more time. Mozart.......he’s like a naturally gifted athlete, you listen to Mozart and you go: “Of course. It all came easy to him.” Beethoven you hear the struggle in it. Look at his manuscripts, and there’s reams of scratched-out music that he hated. He stops and he starts. I love that about Beethoven, his humanity shows in his music. Mozart was almost inhuman, unhuman."
Do you ever question yourself on the inside? Maybe why you aren't more driven? Or maybe you are driven but question why you don't have the creativity you used to have? I know these exact thoughts have gone through my mind many times. I question why I've been so 'off and on' in my writing over the past 5 or so years. Why I haven't pursued things in writing I'm passionate about. Why am I not further in this whole writing 'thing' than I am? Why sometimes I don't just---write. I look back and I read what I've put out there and think: "wow. that came from me?" and then I look back on unfinished work I have and wonder,"what was I thinking?" I've seen struggle in my writing. I've heard pain in it, too.
There's a small part of me that wishes I had the drive others have for writing: the patience, the fortitude, the skill even. I hate the thought that I would even try to compare my work to others, because naturally I am a champion & encourager of others and their work. Yet, there's this little part of me that just wants to be in the corner of their room where they are writing and see how they get inspired. get ideas. thoughts.
I wonder if that's where you're at today?
Do you wonder why you aren't further in something you are passionate about? Why you pursue and pursue and it seems like you just keep beating on; like a boat against the current as F.Scott Fitzgerald so eloquently puts it?
Maybe its the past that's keeping you from fully plunging into what your dreams are. Maybe its self-doubt. Maybe you question 'who am I?'
Is it time to let that go? To know you are human and have struggle?
Possibly through that struggle, you may produce some of the greatest work, achievements and dreams you could ever have. It may even be possible it could give hope to others and remind them that they have humanity also.
Embrace the struggle. Fight through it. Push through it. Embrace your humanity.
It may be the greatest thing you could ever do.