There are things in the timeline of your life, that aren't just a blip on the radar. Things that you can't just say, 'Oh, yeah, I went through that...' then move on. The kind of things I am talking about evade your thoughts 24-7 while going through them, sometimes even dealing with years later.
The things I am talking about, don't just fade away like time, from memory. Hurtful, traumatic things, that just can't be washed from the slate of your life. Does it mean that you can't move on? Does it mean that you can't be whole?
For some of you who know me, my story, know the years I spent in foster care until I was 9. I was then wonderfully adopted by my parents, who gave me a life that I only dreamt about. I am eternally grateful. A few years ago, I decided to finally seek help, so to speak, on the things that I experienced as a child.
After dealing with it, I experienced so much freedom. The one thing I could really never get over until about a year ago, was the answer to the daunting question:
Why do some people, many who are helpless, go through such things? I think even in my mind, thoughts of 'Why would a loving God let this happen?' yet all along I knew, it wasn't a loving God who let this happen in my life.
We live in a fallen world.
Then, I stumbled upon a movie and book that would forever remain with me & my thoughts for the rest of my life: The Lovely Bones. After watching it, then reading the book, I was astonished. I (through much thought, observation and prayer) realized not only had I gone through what I did, but LIVED through it. Which, the title character did not. I LIVED to share with others, to inspire others, to give hope to others. I realized.......what happened, happened.
It happened, which I could be ruled by it, or RULE IT, by using it to move on, be whole. I SURVIVED it, which means I am a SURVIVOR (go ahead, start humming Destiny's Child, I don't blame you...). Which very few people can actually say about themselves. It happened.
IT in a way, was supposed to. Even in my deep thoughts, I have thought, 'What if I could go back in time, change/stop what happened, would I be the same person today? Maybe a BETTER person?'
Whatever happened, happened. And I am who I am, because of it.
So fellow, blog reader, I want to tell you: whatever happened, happened in your life.
And you are WONDERFUL and exactly the way you are, because of it.